Over the summer, I had a girlfriend come to me with her struggles. She openly admitted of struggling with lust, pornography, and masturbation since her and her boyfriend had broken up. She originally came to me asking for prayers, but it hit me square in the face that praying would simply not be enough. Every Young Woman’s Battle by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn had been lying on my bookshelf for over a year. I had never gone too far into it, because I didn’t feel as if it would help me very much. However, what started out as a study for a friend quickly turned into something much different. I started studying my heart, the way I lived my life, the secular things I enjoyed, and most importantly - my relationship with God.
I grew up in an active youth group. There were countless youth rallies throughout the years where we had to listen to the sex class. I’ve heard incredible points from great Christian women. There was a side to purity, though, that I hadn’t been told about. I, a nineteen-year-old college sophomore, had not heard a single valid argument for the other side of purity. If I haven’t, then I can guarantee that the girls in your youth group and the daughters in your home haven’t either. It isn’t as obvious, but it’s just as important in the battle to stay pure.
The common idea of purity is keeping your body as untouched as possible and saving yourself for sexual relations until marriage. True purity, however, goes far deeper than that and influences every aspect of your life. Matthew 5:8 tells us that the pure in heart are blessed and they will see God. Purity starts on the inside. The truth is that you could be as pure as you want on the outside, be beautiful, and be a shining example for God and really be filth on the inside. What you put in your body starts to show on the outside. This is the key and core reason to have inner purity first and foremost. As we talk about inner purity, we have to talk about inner impurity, what causes it, and how it affects outer impurity. Music, movies, and relationships start to effect how we think. It’s easier to think about impure things when our lives are constantly being negatively affected from many areas in my life. I had been told in classes throughout high school not to partake in negative secular music, movies, and even books. Most teenagers won’t see those things as being negative, because in their lives that media has a sense of normality. For me, I started noticing the difference when I moved to college. Being at a Christian university started to rub off the grime that the media have inflicted on me. I began to notice the significant difference when I would be around a television, listening to the radio, or was at a public place. Anytime that someone said a dirty joke or cussed, I caught myself cringing. Sometimes I would quickly walk away. I didn’t want people to think I was associated with them! Why not? I’m a Christian, who tries to live a Christian lifestyle everyday, that’s why! Yet I had a plethora of negative media in my life that was affecting me in the same way.
To change the color of lemons or flowers, you must inject color into the source. For the flower, you inject color into the water it gets life from. For the lemon, you simply inject the color into the core. What you take in will eventually start to affect your core and in turn, affect what color you appear to other people. It’s easier to think and act upon things that are already in your heart. When I realized that more than the state of my physical being could determine my purity, a great wave of shame shook me. Suddenly I found myself on a level playing field as the people I swore to never act like. Humans are flawed beings, and in being flawed we commit sins every day. In the study I did on this, I started asking my Christian guy friends how they view purity. My favorite one fits this idea perfectly, and has stuck with me ever since. He said, “You can be beautiful on the outside, and still be complete filth on the inside. If you aren’t pure on the inside too then you’re just putting lipstick on a pig.” I love this analogy. We can be at school, at our jobs, or even sitting in the pew on Sunday morning and look like a respectable and pure Christian. If you aren’t pure on the inside though, it’s like having on a mask. Your core is what sustains you, from the inside out. If that core is the many secular things from around you, then your core won’t last in the purity battle.
My intention is to bring awareness of how real the battle is among teenage girls. For so long, there was this cliché idea that only teenage boys had to fight this. But the battle to stay pure is an everyday decision to keep God as our core. “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” – Proverbs 4:23